Monday, August 25, 2008

I need a break!

So my Husband works, I don't. He gets up once every morning to get ready and go to work. I get up multiple times with our daughter to help her go back to sleep. He works very hard outside in the heat. I play in the sand, roll in the grass, splash in the pool, play chase. He works 5 days a week. I work a 24/7 never ending shift. He's an electrician, I'm an entertainer, chef, personal assistant, comforter, room service attendant, referee, well, lets just say I'm a mom. The job never leaves me, or I never leave my job. I love my children, very much, and most women would say they wouldn't change a thing, however, I I'm not most women. I would change one thing. I would have one 'night' off a week. I would like to sleep through the night without having to get up for midnight leg cramps, the 'I'm hungries', changing diapers, and chasing away ghosts. I wake up several times a night to ear piercing shrills coming from the baby's room, yeah, ear piercing, they used to be cute and sweet, now they are starting to get to me. Now is the time I'm wondering 'why did we want kids again?'

You would think it would be as easy as asking ones said husband to help out just one night on the weekends. Been There, Tried That Multiple Times, Several Different Ways. Last one week. That's it. ONE WEEK! Honestly does he think that's all I deserve? ONE night off an entire week for like what 3 months before I break down again!! We have come to agreements, we have talked this over, I have BEGGED! Still, I sit here right now 1:26 am, with a screaming baby. Every night, same routine.

You would think, hey, maybe ONE night on one of his 2 days off he could be the person to get up and take care of the fussy one, but nope, Monday-Thurs., he needs his rest to work 8-5. Friday when he gets in, he needs to relax and sleep in or wake up early and show me how capable and easy it would be for ME to get the trash out, wash a load of clothes, pick up the kitchen, wash the dishes, all before 9am. Yeah! Saturday morning, he's up EARLY cleaning! Not quietly sneaking around as I would if he were still asleep, but banging pots and pans, stepping hardly on the floor as if to slam it in my face what I should be doing every single day. So that brings us to Saturday night, maybe he can help on Saturday evening? NO, he must get his fishing 'gear' lined up and in order to go fishing the next morning. What about Saturday night? You probably already guessed, he has to get his rest Saturday night as well, so that he can go fishing early in the morning. Maybe after that when he gets in from fishing, he can hang out with the kids while I run to the store? No way, we are out of milk, and he doesn't want to 'entertain' a fussy baby, how do I expect him to do that?

So right now, as I right this you would think I'm pissed, livid, infuriated! Nope, I'm none of these, but I am one thing. I am an overworked, very tired, worn out, sleep deprived, caffeine inhaler, Exhausted mom! And, I feel I'm getting my point through right now as I am writing this at 1 in the morning. While my daughter is SCREAMING in her room, my husband is tossing and turning. I can hear the footsteps back and forth to her room, and I can also almost hear the puzzlement in his expression. The shear joy of hearing his footsteps go back and forth, and hear the words, "I don't know what to do" is almost enough for me. It's almost enough to not need a night off. I probably won't bring up the discussion again for a while with him that I need some time off...I may just keep this up for a week or two until he caves. Maybe he can have his breaking moment and understand that I don't just stay at home all day eating ice cream, watching movies, surfing the Internet, talking to friends. No, That's what I squeeze in during naps, along with washing clothes, picking up toys, writing blogs, searching for ways to make groceries and other items cost less, etc. My list goes on and on for what I do on a daily basis. Honestly, it doesn't bother me to get up at night with our daughter, in fact I can actually do it in my sleep now! However, I feel I'm at a breaking point where my husband has just forgotten how easy he has it. No, I could never do his work, and no I am not willing to stay in the heat, crawl in attics or creepy crawl spaces below a house, but at the same time, I would like for him to understand what I do around here, and what better way than to walk away from a screaming child and let her father attend to her.

Yeah, I am thankful I have a great husband, there are many things he does for us. He is our Provider right now, and I appreciate the privilege of staying at home with our kids, However, there are times when I would like to run to the store Alone! Times when I would like a shower, a real shower, not a 10min. shower, a Shower!

Anyways, enough rambling on, I'm sure you got my point long before now, hopefully one day soon, my husband will too.


Lucille said...

Hey good look with the husband one day understanding you bit, I think that using reverse psychology as you were doing in order to get him to help take care of things is what women are best at. If that doesn't work however, lunesta is the only way. If you are in a deep unwakable slumber how can your husband not be forced to take care of things. Even if it is just for one night a week!!
Just don't let him know about your new rehab methodology!!

Anonymous said...

That is wonderful to hear that I am not the only one that feels this way! Thanks for voicing what you really think, 1 night a week would be nice, just a shower a real one I SOOOO agree!
Keep us posted on how things are going.