Late night conversations with Ben

Scene- Driving in the car with Brad on the phone

I don't quite remember how we got on the subject of Woodchucks, but we did. 

Me: Are woodchucks even a real animal

Brad: I think so.

Ben: Yeah they are, y'all just don't remember because your brains aren't fresh.

Me: Then what are they?

Brad: :not speaking because he's busy using google:

Ben: Y'all just don't know, I know, but y'all don't. Yall's brains aren't fresh anymore and you can't remember, but I just got out of school like 2 or 5 years ago and I know that they are a real thing because my teacher told me so. 

Me: Ben- you just got out of school a few weeks ago. 

Ben: I don't know my time ok, I don't know years or months of days yet but I know that woodchucks are a real animal. 

Brad: They are the same thing as a groundhog

Ben: See I told you, they are the same thing as the animal that tells us if we have to deal with more snow. 

Adventures of Pet Sitting

My youngest son, Ben, and I are house and pet sitting for my mom while they are out of town. 

We come in late last night and get the animals fed and take them outside to potty. When they came back in, mom's little chihuahua mix dog, Dylan, has brought in a friend. In her mouth is a live locust. The locust is screaming as loud as it can for its life. If you have never heard a locust scream, they are painfully loud, almost like the horrible static from a radio station. So Ben is freaking out because he is terrified of these bugs. Patches, mom's cat calmly looks at Dylan, walks up to her and just whops her right on the head. In turn, Dylan spats out the locust and now it is flying like crazy all in the kitchen. Charlie, mom's older, more 'over it' dog makes eye contact with me, and at that moment I swear I saw her roll her eyes. 

So, pause. In this chaotic moment, I try to freeze my memory to capture this moment in my mind forever. My son is terrified and screaming, yet he has the biggest smile on his face. He is frozen in the air from jumping out of the way of a poor locust that was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. He is holding onto the back of a chair that is about to topple over from his reaction.  Patches is sitting up looking down on Dylan with her paw still outstretched from whacking her across the head. She has a determined look and is certain that locust will be hers.  Dylan's look of confusion with her paws outstretched frantically trying to recapture her prize but she is facing Patches with such a funny, raw expression of "what the heck just happened', and she is just not able to quite grab the locust back.  Charlie, sitting in the middle of it with her eyebrows arched up high and looking for me to figure out what to do, perhaps it was a silent plea for help. And me, I don't know what my expression was. Maybe it was panic, there are a lot of breakable things at moms house. Maybe annoyance, because chaos seems to follow me. Maybe though, just maybe, and I really do hope, that I had a smile. Because looking back at this moment forever in my memory, however chaotic it was, will always remind me that we lived last night. We giggled last night. We had fun and even though we didn't know it at that moment, we made a memory last night.  

Side note: We also do not know who ended up with the locust or where he flew off to hide, as we never heard his shrill scream again. We can only hope he found his way back outside. 

 What I learned going to the movies with my youngest 

1. Choose a seat on the outside of the row

    Why? Because there will be many trips to the restroom and quite frankly, having to ask the 6 or so people to move their legs back while pushing up on the people's seat in front of them to squeeze by to get to said restroom, well....all I could think about was my butt in these peoples' faces. I'm so sure they enjoyed that view instead of the view they paid for. 

2. Bring wet wipes. 

    Yes, even for a 6 year old. Why? Because although they advertise they clean the auditorium to the highest of expectations, my child still found the one gummy candy that was partially melted and stepped right on it. Then, said 6 year old proceeded to put his feet in his chair to "make himself taller". See where this is going? Gummy, sticky candy was smeared EVERYWHERE. Being in the time that we are, we were not 'allowed' to just change seats, so we were stuck, literally, to the seats we chose before going into the auditorium. 

3. When they offer to bring your drinks and snacks to your seat for you, allow them. 

    Have you tried to juggle two drinks, a large popcorn and a purse because your child is carrying the booster chair that you know they won't even use. If you haven't, feel blessed. Having a strong willed child is not for the faint of heart. We made it, but not without losing a few popcorn pieces along the way....maybe more than a few. Just use their deliver to the seat service. 

4. Don't expect to see the movie. 

    Picking a movie you really want to see? Might as well prepare yourself to know that will not happen. You will have a tiny human talking to you nearly non-stop in their oh so sweet whisper voice. Just be prepared to know you will have to rent it when it comes out if you really want to see it.